Love and Romance - How To Make A Relationship Last

When we fall in love we don’t usually consider whether or not our partner is the perfect match for us. Falling in love is something that is beyond our control. You only take stock of the situation after it’s happened. So what can you do? How to make a relationship last is one of the most pressing questions people ask me.

If you are in a relationship right now then you need to be completely honest with yourself and consider whether the person you are with is good for you or not. One of the key criterior that councillors use to help couples better understand their relationships is whether or not there is any level of contempt in the relationship. This is the “make or break” factor in deciding how to make a relationship last.

So what is contempt? Consider that you are having an argument with your partner or spouse. Things get heated and tempers rise, what do you say to them and what do they say to you in order to win the argument? If you both stick to the facts then chances are that your relationship is healthy. If either of you resort to name calling, belittling the other or intimidating the other in any way then you are headed for problems.

It is vital to have respect for your partner or spouse. That is the key factor to keep in mind when deciding on how to make a relationship last. The minute you resort to bullying and making your partner feel unworthy or of no value you destroy the very basis of any relationship. This is especially relevant when dealing with your children. If you tell them they’re stupid or useless then they will carry this with them and in all likelihood do it to their spouse and children when they grow up.

If you each commit to only saying things that build the other up, no matter what the circumstance, then you have the basis of a lasting relationship. So if you want to make your relationship last then immediately stop running your partner down. If your partner cannot do this or you feel you can’t stop then end your relationship now and move on. It’s that simple. Make a commitment to yourself that you will only spend time with people that build you up. Cut loose from the ones that break you down. The relationships that last are the ones where each partner has mutual respect and have the other person’s best interests at heart.

For more tips and help with your relationship problems, check out our free relationship guide. There is plenty of advice as well as detailed instructions on how to make your relationship last.